


Together

by MajorWolfe



Category: Frankie (TV 2013)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-09-30 01:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorWolfe/pseuds/MajorWolfe
Summary: A Frankie/Zoe fic that picks up a few weeks after the series ended.





	1. Chapter 1

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” there was a quiet thud as Frankie let her head fall against the wall of the toilet cubicle. She didn’t hear the door to the toilets open, so jumped in shock when she heard someone call her name. Zoe. They’d called a truce since her breakdown, acted like professionals towards each other at work, but spent at least one evening a week outside of work in each other’s company.

“Are you okay Frankie?”

She could hear the concern in the older woman’s voice and took a deep breath as she wiped at her eyes, “yeah, yeah just give me a minute”

She closed her eyes as she stood up, taking a deep breath and wiping at her eyes again even though she knew it wouldn’t hide the fact she’d been crying  Another deep breath to compose herself and she flushed the toilet and left the cubicle, finding Zoe leaning back against the sinks waiting for her. “Frankie” the doctor’s concern grew as she saw the, usually strong,  nurse had been crying, “whatever’s the matter?”

“I can’t” Frankie whispered, gripping at the sink as she washed her hands, “not...not here” she glanced to the door, hoping Zoe understood, that she didn’t think she was pushing her away.

“Of course” she nodded, “I erm, I don’t have any house calls so I’m free until afternoon surgery we could use my office”

Frankie nodded, “okay” she said, moving to dry her hands under the hand dryer before giving up on the pathetic stream of hot air, instead choosing to wipe her hands on her thighs.  She stopped to look in the mirror, wiping away the mascara that sat on her cheeks, “do you want to…” she gestured to the toilets.

Zoe shook her head, “I can wait”  Frankie had been so good to her, despite everything she’d done, Frankie had still been there, making sure she got the help she needed, supporting her, even going to see her at 3am with a ridiculous amount of chocolate biscuits after a phone call where all Zoe had been able to do was sob down the phone.  Zoe’s mind was set, now she had the chance, she was certain she was going to do her best to support Frankie the way Frankie had been there for her.

They walked through the medical centre in silence, Zoe’s hand discretely in the small of Frankie’s back, the small gesture providing the nurse with more comfort than she imagined it would.  “Sit down” Zoe gestured to one of the chairs usually reserved for patients, “do you want a cup of tea?”

Frankie shook her head as she sat down, “no, no, I’m okay.”

Zoe nodded and sat in the chair beside Frankie, gently resting her hand on her knee, “are you going to tell me what’s the matter?” she asked softly.

Frankie looked up from where she’d been fiddling with the hem of her top, unshed tears shining in her eyes as they met Zoe’s, “this stays in here?”

“Of course” Zoe was quick to reassure her, “anything said in here will stay in here.”  Frankie said nothing but reached into the pocket on her uniform, handing something over to Zoe.  The doctor knew instantly what she’d been given and she didn’t even need the quick glance she took at the object to know why Frankie was so upset, “you’re pregnant?”

Frankie swiped at the tears that had fallen from her eyes, “I’ve been so stupid.”

“Hey, no” Zoe put the pregnancy test on the edge of her desk and reached out to take Frankie’s hand, “you and I both know that, no form of contraception is 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy.”

Frankie sniffled and used her free hand to wipe at her eyes, “how do you know I wasn’t too stupid to use contraception?”

“Because I remember changing your implant for you, about 18 months ago.”

Frankie had all but forgotten, her team had been a nurse down so she’d been rushed off her feet and finding it impossible to fit a doctor’s appointment into her hectic days.  It had been before things had gone downhill, or, as she now knew, before Zoe’s depression had taken over, so it hadn’t taken much to convince the doctor to see her before they both went home at the end of the day, “do you think I should get it taken out now?” Frankie asked as she looked up at Zoe.

“That’s up to you, if you want it taking out then I could do it now for you” she offered.

Frankie nodded, “It’s proved itself to be pretty useless anyway”

“Okay” Zoe gently squeezed her hand, “I’ll just go and get what I need, I won’t be a minute.”  

Frankie nodded again, “thank you.”  She was sat staring into space when Zoe came back into the room, not noticing the other woman until she felt a hand on her shoulder, “sorry”.

“It’s okay” Zoe smiled sadly, “are you okay sat there or would you rather lay down?” she gestured to the examination table behind them.

“Whatever’s easier for you.”

“I don’t mind, can I trust you not to pass out on me?” Zoe joked, moving her chair closer as Frankie nodded, “I assume I don’t need to talk you through it?” Frankie nodded again and Zoe smiled, pulling on a pair of gloves as Frankie rolled her sleeve up, “it shouldn’t take long to get it out.”

She was right, less than 10 minutes later Frankie was pulling her sleeve down over the dressing on her arm, “thank you.”

“It’s not a problem” Zoe said as she pulled off her gloves and dropped them into the tray perched on the edge of her desk, “are you okay?”

“I don’t know” Frankie admitted, “I don’t even know how far along I am, I’ve had about 6 periods in the past 4 years whilst I’ve had the implant in.”

“I erm, I could examine you if you want?” Zoe offered, “it’s not as accurate as an ultrasound, but the size of your uterus should give us a rough idea.”

Frankie looked up at Zoe, “you’d do that for me?”

“It’s nothing compared to everything you’ve done for me recently” Zoe said honestly, it was thanks to Frankie that she’d managed to pull herself back together and get her life back on track.  Frankie had been the one to call Doctor Strider, the one to encourage her to open up, to get the help she needed. It was because of Frankie that she’d found the strength to be honest with him about how she’d been feeling, to allow him to prescribe the antidepressants and refer her for the therapy that she’d so desperately needed. Frankie had been the one to encourage her to keep taking her meds when the side effects far outweighed the benefits, reminded her of the things she already knew, that any medication needed time to become established in her body, and that there were other options, other medications if these didn't work for her. It was thanks to Frankie that she had a friend, that she no longer felt completely alone, and Zoe didn't think there'd ever be anything she could do to thank Frankie for that.

“Thank you” Frankie nodded, standing when Zoe did and walking the few steps over to the bed, watching Zoe sanitise her hands as she got settled, lifting her top slightly and rolling down the top of her trousers to expose her stomach.

“Did I hurt you?” Zoe asked after Frankie had flinched at her first touch, quickly pulling her hands back from the other woman’s skin.

“No, no, your hands are just a bit cold.”

“Ah” Zoe smiled as she rubbed her hands together to try and warm them up slightly, “comes with the job I’m afraid.”

“What happens?” Frankie asked, “do your hands suddenly get cold on your first day at med school or is it a calling? If you have cold hands as a child you know you’re destined to be a doctor?”

A few weeks ago Zoe would have snapped, wrongly assuming that Frankie was mocking her, insulting her but now she knew the nurse was only joking, there was no malice behind her words, “I think it’s probably a mixture of both, the longer you practice, the colder they get.”

Frankie smiled as she watched Zoe, the doctor’s eyes fixed on the wall in front of her, letting her fingers do all the work as she felt at Frankie’s abdomen.  “I once heard that cold hands are a sign of a warm heart” she eventually spoke again.

Zoe smiled genuinely as her eyes met Frankie’s, “if that was true you’d have to have hands made of ice” she told the nurse, a content silence falling between them as she continued her examination, “I can only just feel the top of your uterus above your pubic bone” she said once she’d finished, “so I’d put you between 10 and 12 weeks.”

“A nice parting gift from him then” Frankie sighed as she sat up and straightened out her clothes.

Zoe sat beside Frankie on the bed, “I know I probably don’t need to give you the usual talk on what prenatal vitamins to take or where to get information on your other options, but you know I’m here for you” she said as she cautiously put her hand on top of Frankie’s, “I’ll even bring the biscuits if you call me at 3am.”

Frankie smiled, lacing her fingers between Zoe’s as she let her head fall onto the doctor’s shoulder, “I don’t suppose you fancy a takeaway tonight?”

“Of course, or erm, I could cook if you’d prefer?”

“I don’t mind” Frankie said honestly.

“Come over to mine, I’ll cook for you” Zoe said, trying to resist the urge to run her hand through Frankie’s hair, “and of course you can stay” she said before Frankie even had chance to ask.

“Thank you. Ian’s still being persistent and I’m not sure I can face him, not until I’ve had time to get my head around it.  I erm, I’ll go home and get changed after work and then come over if that’s okay?”

“Of course”

Frankie finally lifted her head from Zoe’s shoulder, “I should go, I was meant to be doing my admin before I go out again this afternoon.”

“Well you know where I am if you need me.”

“I do” Frankie smiled as she stood from the bed, “thank you”.  She went to leave the room before stopping, turning to face Zoe and kissing her cheek, much like the doctor had to her on the night of her breakdown.  “See you later” she said as she left the room, not looking back, not seeing Zoe stood frozen with shock, her fingers ghosting over her cheek, unable to believe what had just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Frankie headed straight home at the end of her shift, leaving before she could get bogged down in anything else. She showered and pulled her soft dressing gown around her body as she packed her uniform and the other things she’d need into a bag for the morning, it didn’t take her long, she’d spent a few night’s at Zoe’s since they’d formed their friendship, just like Zoe had spent several nights in Frankie’s spare room, especially in the first few weeks when she’d been too scared of the thoughts in her own head to be at home on her own.

Frankie didn’t bother to dress once she’d finished, she roughly towel dried her hair before tying it back in a messy ponytail and pulling on a clean pair of pyjamas.  She ignored the knocking on the door as she grabbed a pair of socks from her drawers, she didn’t need to look, she knew it would be Ian, it was always Ian, every night without fail. He just wouldn’t get the hint.

She slipped on her battered trainers once she was ready to leave, pulling on her hoodie over her thin grey t-shirt before throwing the bag over her shoulder, grabbing her keys and leaving the house, ignoring Ian as he repeatedly called her name, only throwing the word ‘out’ over her shoulder when he asked her where she was going as she got into her car.

It was a little after 7 when Frankie pulled up outside Zoe’s house, Zoe greeting her in the doorway, “come in” she smiled, “make yourself at home” she took Frankie’s bag and dropped it on the bottom step, waiting for the nurse to take off her shoes before ushering her into the living room, Frankie smiling as she noticed the fire was lit and there were two scented candles burning on the mantlepiece, jasmine, if her heightened sense of smell was right. Soft jazz music played quietly in the background and despite not usually being able to stand jazz, the music didn't seem to bother her this time, instead it only seemed to enhance the calming atmosphere that Zoe had done her best to create. 

“Are you okay?” Zoe asked when she noticed Frankie sniffing the air, “I should have asked if you were sensitive to anything, God, I was terrible with my eldest, so many smells made me queasy, I’m sorry, I…”  she went to blow out the candles but was stopped by Frankie’s hand gently curling around her wrist, reminding Zoe of the moment Frankie had taken the scissors from her hand, the moment Frankie had stopped her doing something so stupid.

“It’s okay” she smiled, “I do feel queasy but that’s not the candles, they’re fine… Jasmine?”

Zoe nodded, noticing that Frankie still hadn’t let go of her wrist, “yeah, I erm, I took your advice, trying to make the place a bit more homely, a bit more me.”

“Is it working?” Frankie asked, noticing that as well as the candles, there were new cushions and a throw on the sofa.

“A little” Zoe nodded.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Make yourself at home” Zoe gestured to the sofa, “I’ll just go and check on dinner and make us some tea, it’s nothing special, shepherd's pie, yorkshire puddings and veg, comfort food, I didn’t know if… I thought something simple might be better if you were feeling…”

“Thank you” Frankie smiled, “I appreciate that.”  It was only then that she realised her fingers were still around Zoe’s wrist, “sorry I… I’ll make myself comfortable yeah?” she gestured to the sofa, getting a nod and a smile in response before Zoe headed back into the kitchen

When Zoe returned with the tea, she found Frankie stood in front of her bookcase, a photo frame in her hand. Zoe didn't even need to ask which picture she’d picked up, “it’s okay” she reassured the nurse after seeing her jump when she entered the room, “if I hadn't wanted you to see it I'd have moved it before you got here.”

Frankie nodded, Zoe really was trying to make the house more ‘homely' the first time she’d seen this bookcase it had been full of ring binders and medical texts whereas now, the bottom shelf still held some medical journals, but the rest of the shelves housed a variety of books from Shakespeare, Dickens and the Bronte sisters, right through to modern fiction. There were even a few ornaments on the shelves along with the photo that took pride of place in the middle of the bookcase, Zoe and, Frankie assumed, her ex husband and two sons, both parents smiling proudly as they stood either side of their sons, the shorter of the two boys wearing a cap and gown, obviously graduating from university, “they look like you” Frankie said as she stood the frame back in it’s place.

“I’m sorry?” Zoe hadn't really been paying attention.

“Your boys, they both look like you.”

The same proud smile she wore in the photo crossed Zoe’s face, “do you really think so? A lot of people say they look like their dad.”

Frankie shook her head, “they both have your eyes, the one graduating has your nose too, the other one has your cheekbones.”

The proud smile didn't leave Zoe’s face, “they’re good boys.”

“What are their names?” Frankie asked as she sat on the sofa beside Zoe.

“Finley and Zachary, Finn and Zac. Finn’s the one graduating in the picture.”

Frankie smiled as she picked up her mug, “how old are they?”

“In that picture Finn was 21 and Zac was 17, it was a couple of years ago now, Finn’s 24 and Zac’s 20” she chuckled when she saw the look on Frankie’s face, “Finn gets his height from his dad’s family, Zac gets it from mine” she explained, “a lot of people assume he’s older because he’s taller.”

“Do I even want to ask how tall?” Frankie asked.

“6 foot 3, or at least he was the last time I saw him.”

Frankie gently put her hand on Zoe’s knee and squeezed softly, “sorry I shouldn't have…”

“No, no, Zoe put her hand on Frankie’s, “it’s nice, being able to talk about them I mean.”

Frankie nodded, not moving her hand from Zoe’s knee, reasoning that she wouldn't have added her own hand if she was uncomfortable, “what was Finn’s degree in?”

“Law. He wanted to be a barrister. Zac did chemistry, he talked about wanting to do a PGCE but I don't know if…”

“Have you tried getting in touch with them?”

Zoe nodded, “Finn never returns my calls and erm, it was Zac’s birthday a few months ago, I sent him a card and I, I called him on the day. He didn't answer so I left a voicemail to wish him happy birthday and to, to erm tell him I loved him. He sent me a message a few hours later asking me not to call him again.” She glanced towards the ceiling in a desperate attempt to stop her tears from falling, “I think the depression had been creeping on for a while but that was…” she shrugged not sure how to explain it.

“The straw that broke the camel’s back” Frankie finished for her.

Zoe nodded and gently ran her thumb under her eyes, looking at Frankie and seeing nothing but concern on her face, “listen at me, I'm hardly selling motherhood to you.”

“No” Frankie said firmly, “I'm glad you feel like you can be open with me, I know you're settled on the meds now and you're going to therapy but that doesn't mean you always have to be okay. You're still allowed to have bad days, I won't judge you for that.”

“I'm grateful for that” Zoe nodded, “for everything, I know I don't really deserve your support, your friendship, not after everything I…”

“Enough of that” Frankie squeezed Zoe’s knee again, “you were in a bad place and you were crying out for help, if anyone should be apologising it’s me for not noticing sooner.”

“I think I saw you as a threat” Zoe admitted, her gaze falling to the floor, “you're strong willed, popular, passionate about what do and not afraid to fight for what you think is right. I was used to being the lone alpha female and you took me out of that comfort zone.”

“If only we’d have worked it out sooner” Frankie smiled, “that we make a great team when we’re fighting the system together on our patient’s behalf and not wasting all our time fighting with each other.”

Zoe managed to crack a smile, “we do make a good team” she agreed.

Zoe’s smile caused Frankie to beam too, “to us” she picked up her mug of tea to make a toast, “the dream team.”

Zoe chuckled and gently tapped her mug against Frankie’s “to us.”

They both sat in silence as they drank their tea, Zoe’s hand still resting on top of Frankie’s on her knee, “okay?” Frankie asked when she noticed Zoe looking at her.

Zoe nodded, “sorry, I erm…” she shook her head, her gaze falling to her lap, “it doesn’t matter.”

“Zoe” Frankie squeezed her knee, “you know you can tell me anything.”

Zoe nodded, “I erm… it’s just…” she couldn't find the words so she nervously lifted her gaze to meet Frankie’s her hand trembling slightly as she reached out to her, fingertips ghosting over the younger woman’s cheek for a moment before she cupped her face gently in her hand, her gaze flicking from Frankie’s eyes to her lips as she briefly wondered if she was about to make the worst decision of her life. It was too late to back out now though, and she took Frankie not moving away as a positive sign as she slowly leant closer.

Frankie could feel her heart pounding on her chest, she knew what was going to happen, knew she shouldn't do it, Zoe was emotionally vulnerable, if this all went tits up they’d still have to work together, but all Frankie could focus on was the other woman. She’d be lying if she said she’d never noticed how beautiful she was, she wasn't the first female Frankie had ever been attracted to, certainly not the first female to kiss her but something felt different this time.

‘I‘m going to kiss her’ the voice in Frankie’s head told her, ‘I'm going to kiss Dr Evans.’

They were close, so close Frankie could feel the other woman’s warm breaths against her skin, she closed her eyes, heart skipping a beat as Zoe let out an almost inaudible sigh, a noise Frankie would never have heard were their faces not millimetres apart.

She leant in further, only to pull back when she heard a loud beeping.  “The oven timer” Zoe gasped as she almost flew from the sofa, the possible consequences of what she’d just been  about to do hitting her like a tonne of bricks, “I erm…” she gestured vaguely into the direction of the kitchen before fleeing the room, a look of terror on her face.

Frankie growled once Zoe had left the room, burying her face in one of the cushions to muffle the sound. “You idiot” she mumbled to herself, “you complete and utter idiot.”


	3. Chapter 3

Frankie took a moment to compose herself before taking a deep breath, picking up their mugs and making her way into the kitchen, she stopped in the doorway, the food was on the side and Zoe was pacing backwards and forwards mumbling quietly to herself, it was only once she got closer that she could hear what she was saying, “stupid, you stupid, stupid woman, why on earth did you do that? Why do you always have to screw everything up? Why do you always have to be so stupid?”

Frankie placed the mugs on the side and walked over to Zoe, “Zoe” she said softly as she gently put her hand on her back, apologising when she jumped, “come and sit down” she said softly as she led her over to the table in the corner of the room, already set for them to eat.

“You can leave” Zoe didn’t even look at her, “I don’t expect you to stay, not now.”

“What if I want to stay?”  She got no response, “sit down” she gently squeezed Zoe’s shoulders as she slowly lowered herself into a chair, “let’s eat and then we can talk.”  Zoe said nothing, just sat with her head in her hands as Frankie sorted out their dinner, everything was out ready so it didn’t take her long to drain the vegetables and put everything else onto plates, “here we go” she put the plates on the table and sat beside Zoe, “it smells lovely.”  They sat in silence for a while as Frankie ate, “Zoe” she whispered, “please eat something, I’m not angry with you, I don’t think you’re stupid”

“I tried to kiss you” Zoe mumbled, “I stalked you, scared you, broke into your house and then I tried to kiss you, after everything I’ve done.”

Frankie reached out and put her hand on Zoe’s arm, “I’m a grown woman” she told her, “don’t you think I’d have done or said something if I hadn’t wanted you to?”

Zoe’s head snapped upwards, “you, you…”

“Eat some dinner” Frankie said softly, “then we can talk.”

They ate in silence, Zoe only picking at her food but she ate something which Frankie supposed would have to do, “why don’t you go through into the living room? I’ll clear this up and make us another cuppa.”

Zoe looked up at Frankie and studied her face for a moment before nodding, “okay.”

Frankie flicked on the kettle once Zoe had left the room, clearing the plates and stacking them in the dishwasher as she waited for it to boil.  She carried the mugs through to the living room once she’d made the tea and sat down on the sofa, not sure how close to sit beside Zoe, “Zoe, I…”

“Why?” Zoe suddenly looked up at her, “why didn’t you stop me?”

“I, I don’t know” Frankie said honestly, “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t realised how attractive you are but until then I’d never thought of you like that.”

“You, you think I’m attractive?” Zoe’s cheeks tinged pink.

“Incredibly” Frankie whispered, “especially when you smile.”

Zoe couldn’t help but smile, it had been a long time since anyone had told her that, “I erm…” Frankie gently took her hand, encouraging her to continue in her own time, “if we had kissed” she finally spoke, “what, what would it have meant?”

Frankie ran her thumb over the back of Zoe’s hand, “what would you have wanted it to mean?”

“I, I don’t know, I’ve never...not with another woman.  You’re pregnant, you...when you tell Ian…”

“We won’t be getting back together” Frankie told her, “baby or not, you’ve probably heard the gossip, he slept with Paula on my birthday, got her pregnant too but she erm, she lost it.”

“I, I didn’t know” Zoe said honestly, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Frankie shrugged, “apparently it was my fault for being at work when he’d planned a birthday party for me, he always hated the fact that I was sometimes late home, that my job is unpredictable.  If we were together he’d expect me to give up work and be a housewife and I… that’s not me.”

“No, I understand, I was married to a bank manager, he hated that he was the one to pick the boys up from nursery, from childminders or after school clubs, to give the their dinner and help them with their homework, he always thought that should have been my job.”

“Did you take any time off? I’m not, not judging you” Frankie was quick to add, “it’s something I’ll need to think about it I suppose.”

“A year” Zoe told her, “a year with each of them and then I went back to work part time for another 6 months after Finn was born because it took him a while to settle into nursery, I was going to do the same with Zac but he was fine so I went back full time straight away.”

Frankie gently squeezed Zoe’s hand, “a bad mother wouldn’t have done that” she told her, “a bad mother would have taken the least amount of leave possible and gone back to work regardless of how well their baby settled into nursery.”

“Thank you”

Frankie smiled softly, “why don’t we carry on as we have been and just see where things take us?” she offered, “but you need to understand that if, if we are going to be more than friends, this baby’s going to be a part of our relationship too, if you don’t want that, then I’d rather you told me now so we can keep things platonic.”

“No, I, I understand, your child will always come first.”

Frankie nodded and smiled before reaching forward to pick up their mugs, handing Zoe hers, “you don’t need to worry” she said softly, “about anything.”

“You won’t tell anyone?”

“Of course not” Frankie promised, “it’s nobody else’s business, as long as we’re happy with our relationship, be that a friendship or anything else, then that’s all that matters.”

They sat in silence as they drank their tea, their hands meeting in the space between them on the sofa, fingers curling together.  It was only then that they both realised just how often they touched, Frankie had assumed that Zoe found comfort in her touch, a touch on the arm, a gentle squeeze of the hand, she’d never have assumed that there’d been anything other than feelings of friendship between them.  She’d been honest, she did find Zoe attractive but she’d never thought of her as anything more than a friend, she’d never imagined there’d be an opportunity for anything more. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” Zoe asked when Frankie failed to stifle a yawn a while later, breaking both of them from their thoughts.

Frankie nodded, “please, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, I erm, I can make the guest room up if you’d rather?”  They usually shared a bed, not only was it easier, but, if she was completely honest, Zoe enjoyed the company, she enjoyed not waking up in a cold empty bed.

“I erm, that would probably be the best” she nodded as she passed over her mug when Zoe gestured for it, “not because of tonight” she said quickly when she saw the other woman’s face fall, “I doubt you want to be woken when I have to get up at 5am to spend an hour vomiting before I can get ready for work.”

“Is the sickness bad?” Zoe frowned, “I can prescribe you something if…”

“It’s manageable at the moment, I feel almost constantly queasy but I’m only really sick in the mornings, it's what made me take the test.”

Zoe nodded, “I don’t mind you waking me” she told Frankie, gesturing for the other woman to follow her into the kitchen where she stacked the mugs in the dishwasher and set it running, “in fact I’d rather you did, even if it’s only so I can bring you a glass of water.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“I am” Zoe nodded as she checked the back door was locked and turned off the kitchen light, blowing out the candles and putting a guard around the dying embers of the fire, before nervously holding out her hand to Frankie.

Frankie smiled as she linked her fingers with Zoe’s and followed her upstairs, stopping only to check the front door was locked and pick up Frankie’s bag before heading upstairs to Zoe’s bedroom.

They both used the bathroom and Zoe changed into her pyjamas before they settled down amongst expensive cotton sheets and the thick duvet, “Would you mind if I read for a while?” Zoe asked.

“Of course not, as long as you won’t mind if I fall asleep.”

Zoe smiled, “I won’t mind at all.” Frankie laid down, pulling the plush duvet up to her chin, smiling up at Zoe when she noticed the other woman gazing down at her, “could I kiss you goodnight?” she asked quietly, Frankie could tell she was nervous.

“Yeah” Frankie nodded, “if you want to.”

“I do” Zoe whispered, leaning down to brush her lips against Frankie’s.  Frankie felt her stomach leap as their lips met, she was so used to Ian’s rough stubble and chapped lips that Zoe’s soft plump lips and velvet skin felt almost foreign to her, and she was unable to stop herself reaching up, her fingers tangling in blonde curls to stop her moving away, to stop her breaking the kiss.  Both women smiled when they finally broke the kiss, the need for air becoming too much, “goodnight” Zoe whispered breathlessly as she tucked a lock of Frankie’s hair behind her ears.

Frankie bit her lip, smile still playing on her face, “goodnight Zoe.”

Zoe picked up her book from the nightstand as Frankie settled down to sleep but she didn’t read for long, only until she’d listened to Frankie’s breathing even out, the nurse falling asleep almost as soon as she closed her eyes, Zoe couldn’t blame her, she remembered the exhaustion during her first trimester in both her pregnancies, if she didn’t want to vomit then she wanted to nap.

She laid down in the bed once she was sure Frankie was asleep and watched the other woman for a while, she looked so peaceful, a sight smile on her face, lips parted and her breathing slow.  Zoe wanted to pinch herself, she couldn’t believe it. Frankie had literally seen her at her worst and she still wanted her, she wanted to be with her, everything that had happened between them, everything Zoe had done and Frankie hadn’t ran, she’d stayed, faced everything by Zoe’s side and now Zoe’s mind was made up, no matter what, she was going to do her best to help Frankie with her pregnancy, if things got hard, she wasn’t going to flee, she’d help Frankie the way Frankie had helped her.

She couldn’t help herself, she reached out and gently stroked Frankie’s cheek, brushing her hair back from her face.  She gasped slightly as Frankie stirred but smiled when Frankie’s hand came up to meet hers. Zoe used her free hand to flick off the small light by the bed and settled down to sleep, her hand still on Frankie’s cheek, Frankie’s hand on hers.  She laid in the darkness for a moment, debating her next move before brushing her lips against Frankie’s forehead, “goodnight” she whispered before closing her own eyes and drifting into a peaceful slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a filler chapter but it gets us nicely to where we need to be for the angst I know you're all desperate to read!

Frankie smiled as she woke the next morning, her fingers were still loosely entwined with Zoe’s, the other woman still fast asleep.  She wondered why she hadn’t realised how she felt sooner, this wasn’t the first time she’d laid watching Zoe sleep, all her worries, all her stresses vanished when she slept, she was free of the thoughts that tormented her day after day.  She studied Zoe’s face, not for the first time, she looked so different without her make up, Frankie wondered how many people knew that fierce Dr Evans had freckles, a faint splatter of tiny marks across her nose and cheeks, usually hidden under expensive foundation.

It wasn’t long before Frankie realised exactly why she’d woken so early, her stomach lurched and she threw herself from the bed, glad she’d used Zoe’s ensuite several times before as she didn’t have time to turn on the light before she fell to her knees and vomited into the toilet.

Zoe stirred when Frankie flew from the bed, but it wasn’t until she heard Frankie heave for a second time that Zoe’s brain woke up enough to realise what was happening and she quickly made her way into the ensuite and flicking on the light on the vanity mirror to light the room slightly without using the main light that would seem far too bright at this hour of the morning.  She opened the cabinet on the wall and grabbed a hair band, making quick work of tying Frankie’s hair back before making her way back to the sink, picking up a glass and filling it with cold water, kneeling beside Frankie and carefully putting a hand between her shoulder blades, “sorry” Frankie mumbled, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You don’t need to apologise” Zoe handed Frankie the glass, “I don’t mind at all.”

Frankie thanked Zoe and sipped at the water before groaning and quickly handing it back as she felt her stomach twist again, “what made you choose to do this twice?” she mumbled as she heaved.

Zoe laughed, “insanity?” she suggested as she began to rub circles on Frankie’s back, “I was fine once I was out of the first trimester, you’re almost there so things should start getting better soon.”

“Urgh” Frankie groaned slightly, “I bet if men had to do this, the population would soon die out.”

“Me too” Zoe agreed before asking, “how are you feeling? Do you think you can make it back to bed?”

Frankie nodded, “I think I’m okay for the moment, she gratefully took the water, sipping at it for a moment before swilling some around her mouth and spitting it into the toilet bowl, “promise me you’ll never kiss me after I’ve been sick” Frankie laughed as Zoe helped her to her feet.

“Scout’s honour” Zoe nodded as Frankie flushed the toilet and made her way over to the sink, washing her hands before picking up her toothbrush.  “Here” she said softly, holding out a small cup of mouthwash once Frankie had finished.

“I feel like I’m going to have shares in Listerine by the time I give birth” she said as she took the cup gratefully, rinsing the green liquid around her mouth for a few seconds before spitting it out.”

“Come on” Zoe left the small light on in the bathroom, “if you’re lucky you’ll be able to get another hour or so asleep before the alarm.  Zoe cautiously wrapped her arm around Frankie’s waist as they made their way back to bed, relaxing slightly when she felt Frankie move closer, “is erm, is this okay?” she asked once they were back in bed, her arm still around Frankie, the other woman’s head on her shoulder.

Frankie nodded and draped her arm over Zoe’s stomach before apologising as she yawned, “‘s perfect” she mumbled as she slowly drifted back to sleep.

Zoe’s heart sank when she next woke, the bed beside her was empty, she could see from where she laid that the ensuite was empty and sighed loudly, she’d scared Frankie off. Why had she been so stupid?  It took her a moment to realise that something wasn't right, she hadn't needed to turn the alarm off when she woke. She rolled into her side and frowned, the alarm should have gone off 9 minutes ago. 

The door to the room creaked open just as Zoe pushed the covers back, a surprised “oh” falling from her lips when Frankie appeared, a tray in her hands.

“I erm, well, you made us breakfast at the weekend, I thought I'd return the favour” she said as she passed over the tray so she could get back in bed, “we’ve got plenty of time. I made you tea, I hope you don't mind, coffee’s making me feel a bit queasy at the moment.”

“Tea’s fine” Zoe nodded, still slightly confused, “did, did you turn off the alarm?”

“Yeah, I woke up about 5 minutes before it was meant to go off and I thought you might rather wake to breakfast than to the alarm.”  Frankie kissed Zoe’s cheek as she took a plate of scrambled egg on toast from the tray, putting her own mug on the table by the bed, “tuck in, before it gets cold.”

She nodded, still slightly shocked to find Frankie not only hadn’t left her, but had gone to the effort of making her breakfast in bed, “thank you.”

Zoe showered quickly once they’d eaten, Frankie clearing away their dirty plates before walking back into the bedroom just as Zoe stepped from the ensuite in just her towel, “Shit, sorry” Frankie fought not to stare, “I erm, just let me grab my things, I’ll get changed in the other bathroom.”

“It’s okay” Zoe said softly, “I erm, you can get changed in here, I don’t mind.”

“Okay” Frankie nodded, “if you’re sure.”

“I am” Zoe nodded decisively, as she walked over to the chest of drawers in the room, Frankie taking a deep breath and briefly closing her eyes as she saw Zoe pick out some underwear, pulling the black lace up her endless legs and under her towel.

“Get yourself together” she mumbled quietly, as she took her uniform from her bag, not entirely sure how she was going to get changed without getting naked first, whilst Zoe seemed to be doing an excellent job of getting dressed without taking her towel off, Frankie still had her pyjamas on.  Luckily Zoe kept her back to Frankie as she dressed, wanting to give her some privacy, “right” Frankie took her phone from where it had been charging on the bedside cabinet once she was dressed, “I’m going to have to get off” she told Zoe who’d moved to the dressing table to apply a small amount of make up, “I’ve got a patient who likes to be seen as early as possible, she lives between me and the health centre so I usually nip in on my way into work” she explained as she came to stand behind the other woman.

“Okay” Zoe smiled at her in the mirror, “have a good day.”

Frankie returned the smile and bent to kiss Zoe’s cheek, “you too, I erm, I said I’d go out with Andy tonight so do you fancy grabbing a sandwich or something at lunch?”

Zoe nodded, “do you want me to get anything?”

“No, no it’s fine, I’ll grab us something on my way back from my calls” she smiled, gently squeezing Zoe’s shoulder and saying a final goodbye before leaving the house.

Frankie was in her car, on her way to her final call of the morning when her phone rang, Zoe’s name flashing up on the screen, “hello” she smiled as she answered the call, “everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, have you got a minute to talk?”

“Yeah, I’m in the car, you’re on hands free.”

“I’ve got to call the midwifery team about a patient, I wondered if you wanted me to mention you? Get you an appointment, if I mention that you don’t know when you last had a period they might refer you to the early pregnancy unit for a scan.”

Frankie bit her lip as she pulled up outside her patient's house, “yeah, okay, thanks.”

“I don’t have to” Zoe noticed the hesitation in Frankie’s voice.

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just, well, I guess this just makes it all seem real doesn’t it?”

“If you'd rather wait and…”

“No, no, I'm going to have to face it sooner or later, I'd appreciate you sorting it out for me.” 

“Okay” Zoe smiled down the phone, “I'll get it sorted and I'll see you later?” 

“Just try and stop me” Frankie smiled, saying goodbye and ending the call, taking a minute to compose herself before stepping from the car. 

“You've got an appointment at the EPU on Monday” Zoe told Frankie as they sat eating sandwiches together in Zoe's consulting room, “12.30. I thought you'd be able to slip away in your lunch break and Ian could probably…”

“No” Frankie interrupted, wiping imaginary crumbs from the corner of her mouth, “I'm not going to tell him. After what happened with Paula… I don't want to say anything until I know everything's alright.”

Zoe nodded, “that's understandable. I erm…” she shook her head, “no, never mind.” 

“Go on” Frankie encouraged. “What were you going to say?” 

“I erm… I was going to say that I could probably get away for an hour or so but I'm probably overstepping the mark and…”

“You're not” Frankie was quick to reassure her, “and I, I'd appreciate that. If you could come, I mean don't put yourself out, if you have something else you need to do then I'm sure I'll be fine and…” 

“Don't worry about it” Zoe smiled, “I'll sort it.” 


	5. Chapter 5

For Frankie, Monday came around all too quickly. She'd spent the weekend with Zoe, at the Doctor's house to avoid her ex boyfriend who was persistent with his attempts to try and win back her affections. 

At one point Zoe used to hate being at home, the house felt empty, lonely, but she relished the time she spent there with Frankie. They hadn't done anything special, Frankie had been exhausted and Zoe was trying to teach herself that it was okay to ‘stop’, that she didn't need to be constantly on the go, didn't have anything to prove, and she'd spent the vast majority of her weekend at the opposite end of the sofa to Frankie, popcorn balanced on their knees, feet tangled together beneath a thick woollen blanket as they watched films together. 

Frankie managed to keep her mind focused on Monday morning, forcing herself to think about her patients every time she felt her mind beginning to wander, talking herself through procedures she'd done thousands of times before to stop herself thinking about her appointment. 

She was relieved to see Zoe waiting for her outside the medical centre. She was surprised at how quickly she'd come to think of Zoe as her safety net, her constant, the anxiety she felt rumbling in the pit of her stomach subsiding somewhat when she saw her. 

“How are you feeling?” Zoe asked, briefly squeezing Frankie's arm in an attempt to put her at ease with a gesture that wouldn't draw any attention to them if they were seen by one of their colleagues. 

“Nervous” Frankie admitted, wringing her hands together slightly. 

“You'll feel better after your appointment” Zoe told her, “when you know there's nothing to worry about.”

“I hope so” Frankie nodded. 

“Come on” Zoe fished her keys from her bag and gestured to her car, “I know you're probably not in a fit state to be driving.”

Frankie nodded, she couldn't tell if the churning in her stomach was her usual nausea or the nerves. She knew that she was pregnant, had ‘known’ for a few weeks before she'd found the guts to take the test, Zoe had been able to feel her uterus, but this, this somehow made it all real. 

Zoe took Frankie's hand once they were in the car and squeezed it gently, “it's okay to be nervous” she told her, “but I'm not going anywhere” she promised. 

“Thank you”

Zoe squeezed Frankie's hand again before turning on the engine and putting her car into reverse, “after everything you've done for me, this is the least I can do.” 

At Frankie's request, Zoe didn't leave her side, she sat patiently while Frankie had blood taken and her blood pressure was checked, stayed by her side when she was asked the standard questions asked of every woman at their first appointment with their midwife and it was Zoe's hand Frankie was clinging to when she first saw the grainy black and white image of her child on the screen. “Oh” Frankie gasped, covering her mouth with her free hand as the fluttering shadow on the screen was identified as the baby's heartbeat. “Zoe” she whispered. 

Zoe smiled, remembering her first scans all too well, “it's amazing right?” she asked as she swiped her thumb under Frankie's eyes to catch her tears. 

“That's my baby” Frankie whispered. 

Zoe smiled and nodded, “yes it is.”

“It's perfect” 

Zoe squeezed Frankie's hand, “of course it is, it's yours.”

They left the hospital hand in hand, two copies of the ultrasound in Frankie's bag, a due date scribbled in the book of notes she'd been given, along with a note Zoe was going to pass on to the midwifery team to get Frankie booked in for her next appointment. 

The appointment took longer than they'd both expected so Frankie grabbed a sandwich from the hospital café, eating it in Zoe's car as the doctor drove them back to the medical centre. She chanced a brief kiss to Zoe's cheek after she'd parked the car, “do you want to come round tonight?” Zoe asked. 

Frankie smiled and nodded, “I'd love to. I'll cook?”

“Sounds good to me” Zoe nodded, “have a good afternoon” she said with a smile as they got out of the car, Frankie returning the sentiment as she headed over to her own vehicle to make a start on her afternoon calls. 

Frankie made her way back to the medical centre once she'd finished her rounds, she knew Zoe wouldn't be finished for a while yet so she decided to make a start on the paperwork she hadn't been able to do at lunch time. 

She'd been sat at her desk less than 15 minutes when there was a knock on her office door and she called for whoever it was to enter without looking up. 

“So…” Andy asked as the door clicked shut behind him, “how did it go?”

Frankie couldn't help but smile, she'd told him about her pregnancy when they'd gone to the pub together the week before, he'd jokingly asked if she was pregnant when she'd only ordered an orange juice and her lack of response had answered for her. “Really well” she told him, “I'm a bit further on than I thought I was but everything's developing as it should.”

“I'm glad to hear it” he smiled, genuinely happy for his friend, “have you thought about when you're going to tell everyone?”

“Yeah” Frankie nodded as she fiddled with her pen, “I still need to tell Ian, once I've told him I'll tell the rest of the team.”

“Okay” Andy nodded, “well just let me know if there's anything I can do.” 

“I will” Frankie smiled, “thanks.” 

They spoke for a little while longer before Andy said he was heading off and left Frankie to get on with her paperwork. 

She was almost finished when her phone bleeped with a text from Zoe,  _ ‘I'm heading home now, come round whenever you're ready x’ _

Frankie smiled at the text and she was quick to send a reply,  _ ‘Almost done, I'll be 30 mins tops xx’  _  She paused for a moment, gently tapping her phone against the edge of her desk before quickly sending another text, this time to her ex, before she could change her mind,  _ ‘We need to talk. When are you free?’ _

She headed straight to Zoe's once she'd finished at work, having taken to keep an overnight bag in her car for occasions like this. She glanced at her phone as she sat on the driveway and sent a final text to Ian, confirming their arrangements before turning off her phone and making her way towards the house. 

It wasn't until after they'd eaten, when they were curled together on the sofa, that Frankie found the courage to tell Zoe, “I'm meeting Ian for lunch tomorrow so I can tell him.” 

“Okay” Zoe slipped her hand across the sofa, slipping her fingers between Frankie's, “where are you meeting him?” 

“At the pub near the surgery, I thought if I met him in public…” 

Zoe nodded, “you know you can call me if you need to.” 

“Yeah” Frankie smiled, squeezing their joined hands, “I'll pop in and see you if there's time afterwards.”

“I'd like that” Zoe smiled. 

Zoe kissed Frankie's lips as they left the house the next morning, “remember” she told her, “if there's anything I can do.” 

“I know” Frankie smiled softly, “I'll call you. Have a good morning.” 

“You too” Zoe nodded as she slipped into her car.

The morning passed far too quickly for Frankie's liking and before she knew it she was sat at a table in a quiet corner of the pub, nursing a glass of orange juice and waiting for Ian to arrive. 

“Frankie” he slipped into the seat opposite her in full uniform almost 10 minutes after the time they'd agreed to meet, “sorry I'm late, I…”

Frankie shook her head, cutting him off, “it doesn't matter, you're here now…” 

“I'm so glad you wanted to talk to me, I've got so much to say to you Frankie, I've been trying but you haven't been going back to the house and…”

“Ian” Frankie interrupted him again, “I don't… I want to talk to you about something specific.”

“What?” Ian frowned, determined that he'd leave the pub with Frankie having agreed to give him another chance. 

“I erm” Frankie ran her hand over her face, she'd had a whole speech worked out in the car but now, now her hands were shaking and her mind was blank so there was nothing she could do but just say it. “I'm pregnant Ian.”

Ian's head snapped up, “you're what?” is this some sort of joke Frankie? Because if it is, it isn't funny.”

“I'm not joking" she reached into her bag and pulled out a copy of the picture from her ultrasound, “13, almost 14 weeks.” 

“You've had a scan?” Ian frowned. 

“Yesterday.” 

"And you didn't think I might want to know about it?”

Frankie sighed, “after what happened with Paula I didn't… I wanted to make sure everything was okay first.” 

“This is my baby” he jabbed his finger against the fuzzy black and white picture. “I had a right to know Frankie. You should have told me.” 

“I'm telling you now Ian.”

“No, you should have told me before this” he poked the picture again, “you should have told me as soon as you thought you might be pregnant. I had a right to know.” Frankie said nothing but picked up her bag and stood to her feet, “what are you doing.” 

“I'm going back to work Ian, I can't talk to you, not when you're in this mood. You can call me when you’ve calmed down.”

“No” Ian stood to follow Frankie out of the pub, “we'll talk about this now, I've got rights you know you can't just keep this from me.” 

“I'm not saying I'll keep it from you” Frankie sighed, “I'm just telling you that we can speak about things when you're willing to behave like a rational adult.”

“We can talk about it now. You don't get to just walk away from all this.” 

“Walk away” Frankie laughed sarcastically, “you slept with my junior. You got her pregnant and now, now I find out I'm carrying your baby. I would absolutely love to be able to walk away from you Ian but I can't do that. I don't get to walk away from you, from this entire mess, because I am the one carrying your baby” she felt tears pricking at her eyes and briefly wished Zoe was here with her, quickly deciding to go and speak to her in person instead of calling her. “Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to work.” she stormed from the pub, walking quickly to try and get away from Ian, regretting walking to the pub instead of driving. 

It wasn't to be though, he always was fitter than her and he didn't even need to break into a jog to catch up with her, grabbing her wrist, “Frankie.” 

“Just leave it Ian. I need to go back to work” she jerked her hand from his grasp, crying out as she lost her footing and slipped off the kerb, the screech of brakes and Ian screaming her name the last things she heard before her head hit the ground and everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit longer than usual but I couldn't find a good place to split it. And for reference, when I was writing this, I imagined the doctor and nurse in the ED to be Ethan and Rita from Casualty.

Frankie frowned as she came round, trying to shake her head to rid herself of whatever it was she could feel holding her down, trying to sit up when that didn't work. 

“No, no, stay where you are Frankie” she frowned when she heard Ian's voice, her frown growing when she forced her eyes open and saw him staring down at her, “you're okay, the ambulance is coming, you'll be okay.” 

Suddenly everything came back to her and she batted Ian's hands away, “get off me” she mumbled as she pushed herself to sit up. 

“Frankie, you need to stay still you could have…”

“I'm fine Ian” she protested. 

“I'm so sorry love” a man Frankie didn't recognise crouched down beside her, “I tried to stop but I…”

“I'll be pressing charges” Ian spat towards the man who was visibly shaken by what had happened. “Driving without due care and attention.” 

Frankie reached out, thinking better of taking the man's hand when she saw the blood on her own hand, “don't worry about it” she told him. Nobody will be pressing charges, I slipped off the kerb, it wasn't your fault.”

She was disturbed from her conversation by the paramedics arriving and rushing straight over to where she was still sat on the road, “Frankie Maddox” Ian spoke before Frankie had chance, “36, she was hit by a car about 10 minutes ago, she was unconscious for about 3 or 4 minutes, I tried to keep her head and neck immobilised but she fought against me when she came round. And she's 14 weeks pregnant.”

“Right” one of the paramedics knelt down beside Frankie, “and you are…?” 

“PC Ian Hargreave. Frankie's partner.” 

“No” Frankie spoke for the first time, “no he's not, he's the father of my baby but he's not my partner, not any more, and I wasn't hit by a car, I slipped off the kerb trying to get away from him.” 

“Okay” the paramedic decided not to get involved in the argument for the time being, “why don't we get you checked over?” he suggested, “if you can sit nice and still for me I'll start by checking your back and neck.” 

Frankie was slightly relieved when the police arrived and Ian went to speak to his colleagues, apologising for Iain's behaviour as she watched him pointing furiously at the driver of the car, the man currently speaking to the other paramedic, probably in shock Frankie told herself. “I want to speak to the police” she told the paramedic who'd cleared her back and neck from any serious injury and was dressing the wound on her hand. 

“Okay” the paramedic nodded, “let's get you off the floor and into the back of the ambulance and then I'll get someone to come and speak to you.” 

Frankie insisted speaking to the police without Ian being present, one hand resting absentmindedly on her stomach as she gave the police officer her version of events, that the driver wasn't at fault, that she'd slipped off the kerb and fallen in front of his car. 

The police officer had nodded, told her that that's what the driver and several other witnesses had said too, that Ian was the only one putting fault with the man who'd blown zero on a routine breathalyser test. 

She spoke to the police officer for a while before agreeing to be taken to hospital for a more thorough checkup and an ultrasound to check on the baby. “You don't need to come” she said as Ian stepped into the back of the ambulance. 

“Of course I do Franks” he said as he sat down and took her hand, Frankie quick to shake off his grip, folding her hands on her lap, “we're having a baby together, I'm going to be here for you.” 

Frankie just sighed and closed her eyes, too tired to argue with him any more. She hoped he'd think she'd fallen asleep, that he'd leave her alone for the short ride to the hospital but it wasn't to be and he spent the entire journey telling her he was sorry for everything that he'd done, that he was going to ‘be there’, that he was going to support her through everything, that he was going to be involved. 

Her pregnancy and the fact she'd lost consciousness after hitting her head meant she was seen straight away when they arrived at A&E, and Frankie could have kissed the doctor who asked Ian to wait outside until she was settled, and she'd be forever grateful to the nurse who told Ian that Frankie was perfectly capable of changing into a gown on her own and that he needed to step outside and give her some space. 

Frankie never thought she'd be grateful for a CT scan, but, as there was a slight wait for a scanner as Frankie was thankfully not being classed as an ‘urgent’ case, and there had been an obstetrician in the department seeing another patient, she had an ultrasound scan not long after she'd arrived at the hospital. She'd been relieved to hear that everything looked fine with her unborn child, but that news had only set Ian off again. And no matter how many times Frankie told him she was fine, that he should get back to work, he didn't listen, kept promising he was going to stay as long as she ‘needed’ him. And he spent a good 30 minutes after the ultrasound talking about how happy he was and gushing about his plans for ‘their’ future with his child. Frankie didn't respond, didn't engage with him, didn't have the energy to once again tell him that ‘they’ didn't have a future together. She simply did her best to tune him out, looking forward to the relative peace she'd get during her head CT. 

The nurse who helped Frankie back into bed after her scan realised that Frankie needed space and offered to keep Ian a way for a while, an offer Frankie gratefully accepted. 

“I'm sorry” the nurse caught Ian on his way back from getting himself a coffee, “the doctor's just in with Frankie at the moment and…” 

“Well then I should be there” he tried to step around the nurse, but she'd worked with more than her fair share of stubborn relatives before and she was quick to block him.

“No, the doctor's examining her and she's asked for some privacy,” I'll show you to the relatives room where you can wait until she's ready.”

“Listen here” Ian was beginning to get frustrated, “Frankie is my partner…” 

“And she's my patient, her right to privacy whilst she's a patient here trumps your right to do whatever you want, now, the relative room's this way” she said, giving him no option but to follow her. 

Ian paced the room angrily for almost half an hour before heading back towards Frankie, his uniform meaning nobody questioned him. He saw the doctor stood at a computer in the middle of the ward and made his way straight over to him, “have you finished with Frankie?” 

“Fra… Yes, yes” he nodded, “we're just waiting for her test results and then she should be fine to go home.”

“Right” Ian just walked straight over to Frankie's cubicle and pulling back the curtain, “Frankie” he panicked when he saw her laid back on the bed with her eyes closed. 

“What?” Frankie frowned as she opened her eyes. 

“Oh thank God. I thought you'd passed out again, you've got a head injury, you shouldn't be sleeping yet.” 

“I'm fine Ian” Frankie rolled her eyes and settled back on the bed.

An awkward silence filled the space, broken only by the curtain being pulled back and the nurse from earlier stepping inside, “I've come to check the dre… oh” she frowned when she saw Ian sat by the bed, “I thought I asked you to wait in the relative's room?” 

“That doctor said he was finished and I have a right to be here. She's having my baby.” 

Frankie rolled her eyes before looking at Ian, “can you go and get me a sandwich please? I haven't eaten lunch and I'm starving.” 

Ian glanced between Frankie and the nurse before nodding, leaning in to kiss Frankie, frowning when she turned her head so his lips brushed her cheek, “I won't be long.” 

“I'm sorry” the nurse apologised, “if you want me to get security then…” 

Frankie shook her head, “could you pass me my phone though please? I assume you're going to suggest I have someone at home with me when I'm discharged because of the head injury?” 

“Got in one” the nurse nodded as she handed Frankie her handbag that had been stored under the bed. 

Frankie gestured to the phone in her hand as the nurse put the bag back under the bed, “I'm going to ask someone to come and get me, I erm, I know you'll be busy but if…”

“If we could hold off on discharging you until they get here?” Frankie nodded and the nurse winked, “of course, now, go on, send that text before he gets back.” 

The nurse busied herself with getting everything she needed to clean and dress the few cuts and grazes Frankie had whilst Frankie typed out a quick text to Zoe,  _ ‘Please don't panic but I had a bit of an accident and I'm in A&E. Ian insisted on coming in with me but I wondered if you'd mind coming to pick me up?x’  _

The reply came quickly, ‘ _ When you start a text with ‘please don't panic’ you know that makes me panic right? And for good reason apparently! Are you okay? Of course I'll come and get you xx.’ _

_ ‘Slipped off the kerb and managed to knock myself out but I'm fine, head CT was clear and baby is fine. Thank you x’ _

_ ‘Glad you're both okay. I'll be there as soon as I can xx” _

Frankie send another text of thanks before looking up at the nurse, “all done?” she asked. 

Frankie nodded, “she'll be here as soon as she can” she said before holding out her phone, “can you… I don't want Ian to know.”

“Of course” the nurse dropped Frankie's phone back into her handbag, “now, let's get you sorted.” 

Ian returned before the nurse finished and once she'd done, Frankie ate the sandwich Ian had been to fetch, her stomach rumbling loudly as it suddenly remembered just how long it had been since breakfast. 

She managed to tune out his rambling about the future as she ate and then asked him to fetch her a cuppa once she'd finished eating, she didn't particularly want one but she wouldn't say no to 5 minutes to relax with her eyes closed. 

Her 5 minutes didn't last long at all, although she couldn't be mad when she looked up at the sound of the curtain opening only to find Zoe looking back at her, concern etched on the doctor's face. 

“I'm okay” Frankie told her. 

“They said a car hit you.” 

“Yeah, I…” Frankie shrugged slightly, “it all happened so quickly. I'm okay though, really I am, a bit bruised maybe but nothing serious. 

“I'm glad to hear it” Zoe smiled as she walked over to the bed and gently took Frankie's hand in her own. 

“What are you doing here?” Ian growled as he stepped back into the cubicle to find Zoe helping Frankie off the edge of the bed, his attention quickly turning to Frankie, “what are you doing. The doctor said you need to rest.” 

“Zoe's here because I asked her to come and get me. And I've been discharged Ian.” 

“No you haven't” he frowned. 

“She has” Zoe told him, “I spoke with the doctor in my way in.” 

“Yeah, well she needs someone to be at home with her tonight so you've had a wasted journey cos I'm taking her home and…”

“Ian” Frankie rubbed at her aching temples, “I don't know why you won't listen to me. I've told you several times you're not staying the night. You didn't listen when I asked you to leave me outside the pub and that's how I ended up here in the first place. I told you I didn't want you to come in the ambulance. You did. I told you I didn't want you here with me, you ignored that. The nurse, at my request asked you to wait in the waiting room but here you are. So no, you're not taking me home Ian because I don't want you to, and because I'm sick of you feeling like you can do whatever you want just because I'm having your baby. Zoe is going to take me home now, and when I want to speak to you Ian I'll call you. This baby is growing inside me, we are doing this by my rules okay. I'm calling the shots, not you, now, if you don't mind, I'd like some privacy to get changed.”

Zoe excused herself whilst Frankie was getting changed, glaring at Ian and shaking her head as he chose to wait right outside Frankie's cubicle. She on the other hand went back to reception, waiting in line until she was called forward by the same receptionist who'd helped her find Frankie. “I've got a favour to ask” she told him. 

“Okay...” the receptionist frowned, “I'll do my best.” 

“There's a policeman here, he came in with my friend.” 

“Yes, I know the man.” 

“He erm, as silly as it sounds, he won't leave my friend alone, seems convinced he's going to take her home even though she's told him she doesn't want that. He came in in the ambulance with her so if he asks for a taxi I don't suppose you could wait 5 or 10 minutes before you order it to give us time to get on our way?”

The receptionist winked as he nodded, “well I am very busy here madam…” 

Zoe smiled as she turned to walk away, “thank you”. 

“Ian” Frankie sighed as she saw him following them out of the ED, you're not coming with us. Zoe's taking me home, she's a doctor, she's quite capable of spotting anything that might be serious and after today I need some space.” 

“How am I meant to get back to the station?” 

“I don't know Ian, that's not my problem.” 

“Maybe reception will call you a taxi” Zoe suggested, “now, if you'll excuse me I want to get Frankie home so she can rest.”


	7. Chapter 7

Frankie didn't need to ask, she knew Zoe would be taking them both back to her house and she was thankful for that, thankful that she'd be able to get some rest without worrying about when Ian was going to turn up or if he was still outside her house. 

Zoe watched Frankie as she walked the short distance from the car to the front door, she could tell from watching her that she was probably in a fair amount of pain and discomfort, but, whilst she didn't know the full story, the bits she'd heard made her thank every deity she could think of that Frankie had managed to walk away with no serious injuries. 

“Everything aches” Frankie sighed as she slowly lowered herself onto the sofa, “and my head's pounding.” 

“Did they give you anything at the hospital?” Zoe asked as she passed Frankie some more cushions. 

“IV paracetamol, in the ambulance and then again at the hospital” Frankie tried to make herself comfortable before giving up when she realised that would take more effort than she currently had, “but they said I was lucky to just be bruised.” 

“From what I've heard I'd tend to agree with that.” Zoe said as she sat on the edge of the sofa beside Frankie, “I can't really do much better than paracetamol for pain relief but if you're aching then soaking in the bath might help, and then perhaps try and sleep for a while, see if that helps the headache.” 

“Yeah” Frankie linked her fingers with Zoe's, “I'd like that. I wanted to try and sleep I'm the ED but Ian kept waking me.” 

Zoe rolled her eyes, “you don't seem drowsy, confused or disorientated, you're coherent, your pupils look equal and I'm sure the hospital wouldn't have discharged you if they weren't reactive, I think you're safe to nap for a couple of hours before dinner.”

Frankie nodded and tipped her head to smile up at Zoe, “thank you.” 

“You've got nothing to thank me for” Zoe told her, “I'll go and start running your bath, come up when you're ready.” 

Zoe headed upstairs and Frankie took a moment to stay where she was, laying back with her eyes closed, making the most of the silence, only broken by the quiet sound of Zoe's footsteps upstairs and the water rumbling in the pipes as Zoe turned on the bath. She knew she'd never have got this with Ian, he'd have been hovering, doing whatever he needed to do to make himself feel like he was ‘supporting’ her whether he was or not. 

She gave herself another minute or two before slowly pulling herself to her feet, wondering if she could pinpoint a single muscle in her body that didn't ache before giving up and slowly making her way upstairs. 

“Oh” Frankie found herself almost brought to tears when she walked into the bathroom. Zoe had filled the bath with warm water and her own favourite bubble bath and the room was lit only by an array of candles. 

“Are you okay?” Zoe asked as she came back into the room. 

Frankie nodded, turning to face Zoe and wrapping her arms around her and nuzzling into her. “Thank you” 

Zoe kissed Frankie's hair, “you've got nothing to thank me for" she told her, “there are towels on the rail and I brought you these” she said, holding out some of her own pyjamas. 

Frankie took the pyjamas, “thank you”. 

“Take as long as you need” Zoe told her, “shout me if you need anything.” 

“Okay” Frankie dropped her gaze to the floor before asking, “will you lay with me for a bit when I'm done?”

“Of course” Zoe nodded. “I'll wait for you in the bedroom, but like I said, take as long as you need.” 

Frankie did her best, tried to clear her mind, to relax amongst the bubbles, and, whilst she appreciated the effort Zoe had gone to, she just couldn’t relax, couldn’t switch her mind off.  She laid amongst the bubbles for nearly 10 minutes before giving up, washing quickly and getting out of the bath.

“Everything okay?” Zoe asked when Frankie padded slowly into the bedroom, legs of the pyjamas rolled up slightly to stop them being too long for her. 

“Yeah” Frankie finally lowered herself down onto the mattress, “I feel like I can't settle.”

“That’s not surprising” Zoe said as she held her arms out, “come here.” 

Frankie carefully shuffled into Zoe's arms, letting out a quiet sigh as she felt Zoe's fingertips beginning to massage her back, “that feels nice” she murmured. 

“Good” Zoe kissed her temple, “why don't you close your eyes and try and get some rest? I'll wake you for dinner.” 

“Thank you” Frankie whispered as she relaxed into Zoe and let her eyes close, her weary body finally giving into the rest Ian hadn't allowed her to get whilst she was in the hospital. 

Unsurprisingly, Zoe refused to let Frankie go to work the day after the accident, and although she protested somewhat, the nurse was glad about that. The bruising from the accident was coming out in force and he was glad she wouldn't have to spend a big chunk of her day sat in her car. 

She only took one day off though, and was back at work less than 48 hours after the accident, reassuring Zoe that she was fine, and that she'd go home if she decided she wasn't as fine as she thought she was. 

“Come” Zoe called when she heard a knock on her door, she’d seen her last patient for the morning and was working on some paperwork before afternoon surgery, “Frankie” she smiled as she looked up, her smile soon fading as she saw the tears still wet on the nurse’s face, “what’s wrong?” she asked, quickly standing and walking over to her.

“I’m sorry” Frankie whispered, “I didn’t want to see anyone, I didn’t know where else to go, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise” Zoe led Frankie over to her desk, sitting her down and passing her a box of tissues.

“I’m bleeding” Frankie finally whispered after wiping away her tears, “there was a little bit this morning, I tried to ignore it but I think it’s getting worse. I know there’s nothing I can do if I’m… but…” she shrugged, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh Frankie” Zoe wrapped her arms around the nurse, holding her closely as she cried, “have you had any cramps or abdo pain?”

“A little, nothing major but…” she shrugged again.

“Okay” Zoe kissed her temple, “do you want me to call the midwifery team and..."

"No" Frankie interrupted, "I, I don't..." she shrugged, "if it gets worse then I'll do something but I just... I don't know" she whispered quietly, truth be told she'd just wanted to see Zoe.

"Are your things in your office?”  Zoe asked, getting a nod from Frankie in response, “I’m going to go and get them so I can take you home” she told her, “I know there’s nothing either of us can do if you’re miscarrying, but if you’re not, if it’s just a scare, then resting will do you good.”

Frankie nodded, not particularly wanting to face the rest of the nurses, only Andy knew she was pregnant and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to bring herself to act like everything was okay.  “Will you tell Andy?” she asked, “he knows I’m pregnant, and he, he’ll need to sort out my calls for this afternoon.”

“Of course” Zoe kissed her forehead again, “I won’t be long.”

“Thank you.”

Zoe kissed Frankie for a third time before gently squeezing her hand and leaving the room.  She walked through the medical centre to the area shared by the nurses, spotting Andy straight away, “a word please” she said, not giving him time to respond before walking into Frankie’s office, expecting him to follow her.

He shared a confused glance with some of the other nurses before following the doctor into the empty office, “can I help you?” he asked as he closed the door.

“Frankie’s asked me to let you know that I’m taking her home, she said you’d need to sort out cover for her calls this afternoon.”

“Yeah, I can do that, why is she going home? Is she okay?”

Zoe looked at him for a moment, “I trust you’ll treat this with the same confidence you would any other patient?”

“Of course” he nodded.

“She said she had a little bit of bleeding this morning but it’s getting worse and she’s having some mild abdo cramps, obviously I can’t tell if she’s miscarrying or not, but either way, resting won’t do her any harm.”

“God, no, of course” he ran his hand over his face, “tell her not to worry about anything, and if she needs to take tomorrow off then we’ll manage.”

“Thank you.” Zoe nodded as she picked up Frankie’s jacket and handbag.

“Give her my love yeah, and tell her to ring me if she needs anything.”

Zoe smiled slightly, “I’ll pass on your message.” Zoe ignored the frowns from the other nurses as she left the room with Frankie’s jacket and bag, “can I take your car?” she asked Frankie, “I'll get a taxi back once you're settled so I can drive my car home tonight.” Frankie nodded, reaching into her bag and pulling out her car keys handing them over to Zoe, “come on” Zoe wrapped her arm around Frankie's waist, “let's get you home.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mention of miscarriage in this chapter, so please take care if you think you might find that triggering.

Zoe felt like the afternoon dragged on for years, and she left as soon as she could after her final patient had left. She stopped off at the supermarket on her way home, buying a selection of sanitary towels that she hoped were unnecessary, before heading home to Frankie. 

She slipped quietly through the front door, not wanting to wake Frankie if she was sleeping, slipping off her shoes and jacket as she made her way through to the living room, where she found Frankie.

“It’s erm, it’s getting worse” Frankie whispered as she looked up at Zoe, her bottom lip trembling as her eyes filled with tears, her cheeks still wet from the tears she'd already cried. “I, I had to change my pad twice in the past three hours, is that…”

Zoe briefly closed her eyes for a moment, taking a breath to steady herself before walking over to Frankie, the woman stood in the middle of the living room like a lost child, “I don't think it's anything to worry about right now, but if it carries on like that or it gets any heavier…” she paused for a second, “do you want to go to the hospital?” she asked as she held her arms out.

Frankie almost flew into Zoe’s arms, clinging tightly to her as she shook her head, “there’s nothing they can do, I just want to stay here with you.”

“Okay” Zoe kissed Frankie’s hair, “but if the bleeding gets any heavier or I'm worried about anything I'm taking you in okay?”

“Yeah” Frankie whispered, “Okay.” 

Zoe kissed Frankie's hair again, “do you want to go up to bed?” Frankie nodded against Zoe’s chest, “how are you feeling?” Zoe asked before realising what a stupid question it was and quickly clarifying, “physically I mean, are you comfortable or do you need any pain relief?”

“I've taken some paracetamol” Frankie told her, Zoe's fingers running through her hair as she held her closely. 

“Was that enough?” Zoe asked, “or do you want something stronger?” 

Frankie shook her head against Zoe's shoulder, “I just want to go to bed with you.” 

“Okay” Zoe kisser her hair, “let's go upstairs then.” 

“Did anyone say anything? About me leaving early?” Frankie asked quietly, tucking herself into Zoe's side once they were in bed. 

“Andy came to see me before he left for his afternoon calls” Zoe told her, “he said everyone wanted to know why I'd taken your things and why you weren't in this afternoon, he asked me to tell you that if they ask, he said you had a migraine, you came to me to ask for a prescription for painkillers but I insisted you went home because you weren't fit to be driving.”

“Thank you” Frankie whispered burying her head into the crook of Zoe’s neck as she felt another wave of tears forming in her eyes.

“Hey” Zoe held Frankie close and kissed her head.

“I’m sorry” Frankie whispered.

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for” Zoe told her, “if you need to cry then cry, you know I’d never judge you.”

Zoe closed her eyes to hold back her own tears as she listened to Frankie sobbing in her arms, she hated seeing the other woman so broken and she knew, if there was anything, anything at all that she could do to change things, then she knew she’d do it in a heartbeat. 

Zoe held Frankie until her sobs finally calmed, but she didn't move, continued to lay with Frankie, to hold her closely and do her best to comfort her. 

She kissed Frankie's hair when she heard her stomach rumble a while later, “I'll go and make us something to eat” she said softly, “are you coming down or do you want me to bring it up?” 

“I'll come down” Frankie whispered, “but I erm… Don't make me a lot please.”

“Okay” Zoe kissed her head again, “how about beans on toast?” she suggested, guessing Frankie would want something simple. 

Frankie nodded, “thanks I erm…” she gestured vaguely in the direction of the ensuite. 

“Okay” Zoe kissed her gently, “I erm, I didn't know if you needed anything” she hoped Frankie got what she meant, “so I stopped off on my way home and got a few things for you.” 

Frankie felt herself tearing up again at how thoughtful Zoe was being, “thank you” she whispered as she nuzzled into Zoe again. 

“You've got nothing to thank me for” Zoe told her, “God knows you've done enough for me over the past couple of months.”

Zoe was reluctant to leave Frankie the next morning, she didn’t even need to suggest that Frankie took the day off, Frankie didn’t even attempt to get out of bed when the alarm went off, she stayed in the same position she’d been curled in all night, duvet pulled over her head.

“Do you want me to call Doctor Strider?” Zoe asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, running her hand up and down Frankie’s back, “tell him I won’t be in?”

“No” Frankie whispered, “you erm… I’ll be okay.”

Zoe knew not to push it and gently kissed Frankie’s forehead, “okay” she said softly, “will you call me if you need anything?”

“Yeah” Frankie promised, “I will.”

The day seemed to drag on for ever as Zoe longed to be at home with Frankie, and the doctor found herself clock watching between patients, desperate to get back to her partner.  She glanced at her watch as she got in her car, she'd managed to leave a little earlier than usual, planning to stop at Frankie's on her way home, she knew nothing could make this situation better for the other woman but thought that, perhaps, she might be a little bit more comfortable if she had some of her own pyjamas and comfy clothes to wear. 

Frankie's house wasn't far and Zoe frowned as she saw two police cars parked outside Frankie's house, her frown only growing as she realised Frankie's front door was open and two police officers were stood in the hallway. 

She cautiously made her way up the steps to the door, one of the officers turning when they saw her, “Miss Maddox?” 

“No. Zoe Evans, Doctor Zoe Evans, what's going on here officer?” 

“She's not here” Iain appeared at the top of the stairs, scowling when he saw Zoe stood in the doorway, “You again? What are you doing here?” he spat.

“I could ask you the same thing” Zoe turned back to the police officers, “what's going on?”

“We were asked to conduct a welfare check on Miss Maddox, PC Hargrave received some worrying text messages and asked for our assistance when Miss Maddox stopped replying, he believes she might be in need of urgent medical attention. Do you know her whereabouts?”

“I do” Zoe nodded, “she's quite safe and not in need of any medical attention.” 

“What would you know about it?” Ian spat angrily. 

Zoe sighed, “I'm a doctor, Frankie is having a miscarriage…” 

“I went to the hospital, she's not there.” 

“I know, there is nothing that can be done for miscarriages, as awful as it sounds, a hospital would just give her painkillers and try and make her comfortable, she wishes to stay at home so unless she shows signs of having any complications then that's where she'll stay.”

“She isn't at home though, she's not here.” 

Zoe rolled her eyes, “can I see the messages that made you so concerned?” 

“I take it you know Miss Maddox well?” one of the other officers asked. 

Zoe nodded, “I do, yes.” 

“Show her the messages mate.” The other officer told Ian, “if she knows where Frankie is and she's worried by the messages we can get control to send an ambo over.” 

Zoe swore she saw a flash of fear cross Ian's face and took his phone from his hand as soon as he produced it from a pocket, brow creasing as she read the messages before handing the phone to the other officer, letting him see the messages where Frankie had told Ian she’d lost the baby, his messages insisting on knowing  where she was, telling her he should be with and that he was coming to see her, interspersed with Frankie’s responses telling her she wasn't at home, she was fine and that she didn't want to see him at the moment, she just wanted to be alone. 

“Are you kidding mate. You knew she wasn't here and that she was fine and you still had us come out. Bloody hell.” 

“The erm, he's the reason she's not here” Zoe told the officers, “he comes round every night, sits outside for hours even after she's told him she didn't want to speak to him.”

“Is that true?” The officer asked Ian, the man not having a response, cheeks blushing in guilt. The officer shook his head and put Ian's phone into his own pocket, “Sarge is going to want a word with you when we get back to the station.” He turned back to Zoe, “we're very sorry for disturbing you, had we known then we would never have done it.” 

Zoe nodded, “what's going to happen about the door?” she asked, “I assume we won't be expected to pay for it?” 

“Oh God no” the officer glared at Ian. “Don't worry about it, I'll get someone out to sort it straight away, are you staying here tonight?”

“No, I only came to pick up a few things for Frankie.” 

“Okay, we'll get a locksmith out to secure it straight away and get it sorted properly tomorrow, do you have a contact number so we can get in touch if we need to change the locks and get new keys to you?”

“Of course” Zoe gestured to the living room, “can we, I don't want…” she glared at Ian and the officer understood, Zoe didn't want him hearing her phone number just in case. 

“I'll take him back to the station” the officer told Zoe, you can give my colleague your details, he'll stay here until the locksmith has been so you can get back to Frankie.”

Zoe nodded and smiled, “thank you” she shook the officer's hand. 

“It's no problem, and I'm sorry again for the disturbance” he said before ushering Ian from the house. 


	9. Chapter 9

Zoe let out a quiet sigh as she pushed open the bedroom door to find Frankie curled under the duvet on her side of the bed, the shaking of the fabric telling her without needing to ask, that the nurse was crying under the covers. How on earth could she tell Frankie about what Iain had done when she was already so upset about losing her baby?

She didn't say anything, didn't think there was anything she could say, so she crossed the room quickly, kicking off her trousers as she reached the side of the bed that Frankie usually slept on and slipped under the duvet, silently curling her body around Frankie's, her arm around her middle as she held her close.

Frankie began to sob when she felt the mattress dip behind her, her breath catching in her throat as she felt herself be wrapped in Zoe's safe embrace. She could feel Zoe's breath, warm in her neck but it wasn't enough so she rolled over so she was chest to chest with Zoe, burying her head in the crook of her partners neck as she sobbed.

“Oh Frankie” Zoe whispered, holding her as closely as she could and placing a gentle kiss to her hair, “I've got you” she promised as she felt Frankie's fingers clutching at her shirt, “I've got you Darling, I've got you.”

Zoe wasn't at all surprised when Frankie cried herself to sleep, but she didn't move, simply placed another kiss to her forehead and settled down amongst the covers, vowing to do whatever she could to help Frankie through this. Even if that was something as simple as holding her as she slept.

Zoe found her mind wandering as Frankie slept, she knew she'd have to tell her about Ian, about the police breaking into her house but she didn't know how to. Frankie had enough on her mind as it was, she didn't know how she was going to break the news to her.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Frankie stir in her arms, the nurse having spent most of the day drifting in and out of light, fitful sleep, exhausted from barely sleeping in the night but not able to fall asleep for much longer than a few minutes at a time.  “What’s wrong?” she asked quietly, knowing just from the look on Zoe’s face that the other woman was worrying about something.

Zoe sighed, knowing she couldn’t lie to Frankie. “I took your keys this morning, went to your house on my way home” she told her, “I thought having some pyjamas and things of your own might make you a bit more comfortable.” Frankie nodded but said nothing, knowing there was more to the story.  “The police were there when I arrived” she got straight to the point, “Ian had told them he was worried about you, that you weren’t replying to his messages and he thought there was something wrong so he got some of his colleagues to break the door down.”

“What? No!” Frankie pulled away from Zoe, scrabbling for her phone on the bedside table, “I told him, I said I wasn’t at home, he wanted to see me but I, I just wanted you” she whispered.

“I know” Zoe said softly, “his colleague got Ian to show me the messages to see if they worried me as much as he said they worried him.  I showed the messages to the other police officer and he took Ian back to the station to deal with him.”

“Why can’t he just leave me alone?” Frankie whispered, tears filling her eyes again, “he couldn’t leave me alone when I left the pub, he wouldn’t leave me alone in the hospital and now I’m not even safe in my own home?”

“I erm…” Zoe bit on her bottom lip, “I told the police officers that Ian was the reason you weren’t at home” she admitted, not sure how Frankie would react. “I told them he kept turning up on your doorstep every night.”

“What did they say?” Frankie asked nervously.

“They asked him if it was true and he couldn’t deny it but they erm, they’d like us both to make a statement down at the station.”

Frankie sighed and screwed her eyes up, desperately trying not to cry, “haven’t I got enough to deal with?” she whispered.

“I know” Zoe ran her fingers through Frankie’s unwashed hair, “we don’t have to do it though, not if you don’t want to, or if you do, we can wait, we can go when you’re ready.”

Frankie rolled onto her back as she tried to fight back tears, not even sure how she had any left to cry.  “If I do it, he might leave me alone” she whispered.

“You’re right” Zoe nodded, “even if he only gets a warning, it might be all he needs.”

“Okay” Frankie whispered as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, “did you get me any clothes?”

“They’re downstairs” Zoe nodded, “do you want to go now?”

Frankie nodded, her back to Zoe as she told her, “I want to get it over and done with, so I don’t have to think about it.”

“Okay” Zoe nodded as she stood from the bed, “I’ll go and get the bag with your things in”

“Thanks” Frankie whispered before gesturing to the ensuite, “I’ll just…”

Zoe walked around the bed and crouched in front of Frankie, taking hold of both her hands, “you take as long as you need” she said softly, “we’ll do this at your pace, there’s no rush.”

Zoe got Frankie's bag before looking for something to wear herself, pulling on a pair of dark skinny jeans before slipping off the shirt she'd worn to work, crumpled from where Frankie had been curled into her, pulling a burgundy jumper over her head and smoothing the soft knitted fabric down over her stomach.

She sighed when she caught sight of herself in the mirror, her hair sticking up at odd angles from where she'd been laid on it. She briefly thought about trying to fix it before quickly changing her mind and reaching for a hair band from her dressing table, tying back as much of her hair as she could in a ponytail, not bothered about the shorter strands hanging loose at the nape of her neck.

“Are you ready to go?” she asked when Frankie came out of the ensuite, dressed simply in black leggings and an oversized grey t-shirt.

“Yeah” Frankie nodded, throwing her pyjamas onto the bed. “Are you erm, I mean, can you drive?”

“Of course” Zoe hadn't even considered letting Frankie drive, “and maybe we could get a takeaway on the way home” she suggested, correctly assuming that Frankie hadn't eaten all day.

Frankie nodded as they walked downstairs together, she wasn’t hungry but she knew she needed to at least try and eat something, “yeah, okay.”

One of the police officers that was at Frankie's house was in the reception area when Frankie and Zoe arrived at the station, the man recognising Zoe instantly and handing over a set of keys, “it's all been sorted” he told them both, “the locksmith had to fit a new lock though” he explained before gesturing to a small seating area, “I'll go and get someone to take your statements” he told them both, “try and get it done as quickly as we can.”

He was right, just a few minutes later and Frankie and Zoe were both escorted to separate interview rooms to give their statements about Ian’s behaviour.

Unsurprisingly, Zoe was finished first, only able to tell them what Frankie had told her about Ian, and what she’d seen of his behaviour at the hospital a few days ago. She was shown back to the waiting area by the reception desk and sat for a few minutes before standing and making her way over to the desk, “I’m going outside to make a phone call” she told the officer, if Ms Maddox comes out before I get back, could you tell her where I am please?”

The officer nodded, “of course” he agreed, Zoe thanking him again before stepping out of the station to make her call.

She made her way back inside once she’d finished, settling herself in a chair to wait for Frankie.  She sat for almost 10 minutes before a police officer came out, “Zoe Evans?” he asked.

Zoe frowned slightly as she nodded, “that’s me.”

“Do you want to come with me?”  Zoe followed the man back towards the interview rooms, her heart sinking when she saw the tears rolling down Frankie’s face, “we’ve finished here, but we can give you five minutes if you need it?” he offered as Zoe took Frankie in her arms.

Frankie shook her head against Zoe’s chest, “I just want to go home” she whispered.

“Okay” Zoe kissed Frankie’s hair, “let’s get you home then” she said softly, thanking the police officer as he said he’d show them the way out.

“I called Doctor Strider while I was waiting and told him what had happened” Zoe told Frankie as she drove them both home, “he's given me next week off as compassionate leave and he said that you can self certify for a week but if you need any longer I can't be the doctor to sign you off, he did say though that if you do need more time we just have to ring him and he'll sort it out.”

Frankie wanted to be annoyed that Zoe had told Doctor Strider about them and their situation, but there was a bigger part of her that was relieved, relieved that Zoe had taken the step for her, that she wouldn't have to try and explain everything to him if, or more likely, when, she needed to take more time off, “thank you” she whispered, choking back more tears.

Zoe reached out, letting her hand rest on Frankie's knee as she drove, “you don't need to thank me Frankie, whatever happens we'll face it together yeah, I'm not going anywhere.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's brief mention of an act of self harm in this chapter (but it happens in a dream) so please take care if you think this might be triggering for you.

Zoe wasn't surprised at all, in fact she was slightly relieved when, towards the end of her first week off, she quietly asked Zoe if she could set up an appointment for her to see Doctor Strider to be signed off work for a little longer. Zoe knew it would take Frankie longer to recover mentally than physically but she knew she'd do whatever she could to help her. 

Frankie's insistence that she'd be okay if Zoe went back to work didn't surprise the doctor too much either, and Zoe had simply agreed, making Frankie promise she'd ring her if she needed anything.

What did however surprise Zoe was the night, less than a week after her return to work, that she came home to an empty house, no sign that she'd ever shared her home with the other woman. 

She'd found a note propped up against the kettle. Frankie telling her that she was scared, worried that her struggles would undo all the progress Zoe had made with her own mental health, the nurse telling Zoe that she loved her, and it was because she loved her that she was walking away, she was allowing Zoe to find someone better, someone that deserved her love, someone who was better for her than Frankie ever would. 

Zoe had of course tried ringing Frankie but her calls went straight to voicemail. The calls from Ian had started almost as soon as they'd left the police station, the man begging Frankie to retract her statement, to tell his colleagues that Zoe had been wrong, insisting Frankie got his employer to reverse the suspension he'd been given. Frankie had instead turned her phone off and not bothered to turn it back on again. 

Knowing she didn't really have many options, Zoe chose a different tactic, making a brief detour to Frankie's home after work one evening. 

Frankie frowned as she stood in the hallway, watching an envelope fall through the letterbox, before stumbling towards the door, the generous measure of neat vodka in the glass she held in her left hand not the first of the night. 

She leant against the door for balance as she bent to pick up the envelope, her frown growing as she felt the weight of it and recognised Zoe's untidy scrawl, could almost see the flourish of the fountain pen she'd used to write her name on the envelope. 

Curiosity got the better of her and she staggered into the living room, sitting herself on the sofa and downing the drink, putting the empty glass on the coffee table before running her index finger under the seal of the envelope and pulling out a single sheet of A4 paper, desperately trying to focus on the words in front of her. 

_ Frankie.  _

_ I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through because I don't, I can't pretend to understand the pain and the hurt you're feeling right now. But I do know what it's like to feel like you've got nothing left. Like you're stuck in a hole with no way out. I know how the nights can seem to stretch on for weeks. I know what it's like to feel so lonely but at the same time not wanting to let anyone else in.  _

_ I'm not Ian, I'm not going to spend every night sat outside your front door begging you to let me in and I promise I won't break in again. But I want you to know that I'm here. I'm always here Frankie. I've enclosed a front door key, it's silly but over the past couple of weeks I've started to think of it more as our home than my house. I want to use the key whenever you need to Frankie, whenever you want to.  _

_ I'm here Frankie. And I'll always be here. Whatever you need, whenever you need it I'm here. A phone call. A text. Come round. If there's anything at all I can do you only need to say the words.  _

_ I love you.  _

_ Zoe xx _

Frankie didn't realise she was crying until she saw the ink smudge slightly as a tear fell from her cheek and splashed onto the paper she was holding, "I love you too" she whispered, placing the note on the coffee table before curling up on the sofa, the key to Zoe's house clutched tightly in her fist. 

It took several days. Frankie so genuinely convinced that Zoe would be better off with anyone but her that she tried to fight off the urge to go and see Zoe, no matter how much she missed her. But eventually it became too much, and she found herself driving across town almost on autopilot, the little voice in her head only pointing out that she was probably too drunk to be driving as she pulled onto Zoe's drive.

Zoe stirred as she heard a car door slam outside her home, glancing at the clock by her bed when she she heard a key scrape in the lock, 4.37am. She pushed herself to sit up and flicked on the small light by her bed as she rubbed at her eyes, making the conscious decision that she'd stay where she was and let Frankie come to her, let her change her mind at the last minute if she wanted to. 

She didn't have to wait long, she heard footsteps padding up the stairs and then the creak of her bedroom door opening. She didn't say anything, didn't mention the tears still wet on Frankie's cheeks or the fact she looked like she hadn't eaten, slept or showered since she'd gone back to her own house. She didn't even mention the unmistakable smell of stale alcohol, simply held her arms out, Frankie flying towards her as she began to sob. 

Zoe could tell Frankie was exhausted so didn't mind at all when she fell asleep in her embrace, didn't mind that her back ached from the position she'd ended up in, that her arm was going numb and Frankie was almost laid on her. Her discomfort didn't matter at all as long as Frankie was getting the rest she was obviously desperate for.

Zoe must have managed to doze off again because she woke with a start as her alarm went off just a few short hours after Frankie had arrived and she tried to turn it off without waking the other woman but it wasn't to be. “Wha…” 

"It's okay” Zoe reassured her, “it's just my alarm, it's okay.”

“Oh God” Frankie suddenly remembered what she'd done the previous night, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you, I'm sorry…” 

“No” Zoe stopped her, “I gave you that key in the hope that you'd use it, that you'd come round whenever you wanted or needed to, and you obviously needed something last night, even if it was just company or comfort.”

“I, I keep having a dream. No, a nightmare” Frankie admitted, not looking at Zoe, not wanting to see her reaction, “it's the night you broke in. I couldn't get the scissors out of your hand” Zoe heard Frankie's breathing catch in her throat and held her a little tighter. “I wake up” she whispered, “I usually wake up.” 

“And last night?” Zoe asked softly, feeling Frankie's tears soaking through the front of her pyjamas.

“I tried” Frankie whispered, “I tried so hard but you… You… you put the scissors in your thigh” she mumbled, “and then you looked me in the eye as you pulled them out again” Frankie struggled to catch her breath, “there was so much blood and I, I tried so hard, I can't lose you Zoe, I can't.” 

“Oh Frankie” Zoe kissed her hair, “I promise you, I'm not going to do anything like that l, and if I'm honest I don't think I ever was. I'm not going anywhere.” 

“I'm sorry.” 

“You don't need to apologise Frankie, not at all. I'm glad you felt like you could tell me about your nightmares, and if there's anything I can do to prove to you that I'm not going to…”

“I just needed to see you, to see that you weren't…” 

“That's okay” Zoe reassured her, “you can come round here any time you like. And if you decide you want to go back to your house then that's fine with me, just promise me you'll take the key with you and use it whenever you need to.”

Frankie nodded, feeling so safe in Zoe's arms that she felt herself beginning to fall back to sleep. “I need to get ready for work” Zoe kissed Frankie's head again, thinking for a moment before cautiously asking, “why don't you come in with me?” 

Frankie shook her head, “no, I, I can't I, I'm not ready I…”

“I didn't mean to work” Zoe interrupted, “I thought that I could speak to Doctor Strider, ask him if he'd see you before his first patient, perhaps see about getting you some help? Something to help you sleep a little better?” 

Frankie was silent and for a moment Zoe wondered if she'd fallen back to sleep, but then she nodded against Zoe's chest, whispering, “okay” so quietly that Zoe almost didn't hear her. “I haven't… I,I didn't bring any clothes”.

“That’s okay” Zoe reassured her, “we can stop off and get something, or you could just go like that” she gestured to the pyjamas and oversized hoodie Frankie was wearing, “we can be in and out before anyone else is, John’s always in early.” 

Frankie nodded, “could I…” she shook her head, “never mind.”

“Go on” Zoe prompted. 

“Could I come back here afterwards and try and sleep for a while?”

“Of course you can, you don't have to ask. You can come and go whenever you like.”

“Okay” Frankie nodded, “thank you.”

“Oh Frankie” Zoe held her close, “you’ve got nothing to thank me for. Nothing at all.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken me far longer than I intended it to, but apparently this chapter just didn't want to be written. I'm still not completely happy with it but I wanted to get something out there so I could move on with the story!

Zoe called Doctor Strider once she and Frankie were in the car, letting him know that she was coming in early and asking if he'd speak to Frankie before his first patient arrived. 

"It'll be okay" Zoe said as she reached over, letting her hand rest on Frankie's knee, "it might take some time and it might not be easy but it will get better." 

Frankie’s hand shook as she let it come to rest on top of Zoe’s, “do you think he’ll…” she shrugged, not really sure what she was asking.

“I don’t know what he’ll do” Zoe said honestly, “but I could tell you what I’d do if you were my patient.”

Frankie nodded, her throat like sandpaper as she struggled to swallow, “okay” she whispered.

“I’d probably suggest medication, at the very least something to help you sleep, and I’d recommend you spoke to someone, professionally, about what happened, someone who can help you learn how to cope with your grief, it’s not something that anyone expects you to be able to pack neatly into a box and forget about, but equally, it doesn’t have to consume you.”

“Will you be there?” Frankie asked quietly, “when I talk to him?”

Zoe gently squeezed Frankie’s knee as she turned into the car park, “I will be if that’s what you want, but you need to be honest with him about how you’ve been feeling, and if you don’t think you’ll be able to do that with me there then I’ll understand.”

“I want you there” Frankie nodded as Zoe parked the car, “I, I want you to know, and if you’re there it means I don’t have to go through it again later.”

“Okay” Zoe leaned over to wipe away Frankie’s tears, “shall we go in? Get it done and get you home to bed?”

“Yeah” Frankie nodded, not particularly wanting to talk about her demons but knowing Zoe was right, she needed this, she was stuck in a black hole and there was no way of getting out alone, Zoe had thrown her a lifeline and Frankie just hoped she was strong enough to hang on.

The benefit of seeing Dr Strider before his morning appointments was that there was no waiting, Frankie didn’t have to sit in a waiting room full of strangers, avoiding eye contact as she flicked through a three year old copy of Woman’s Own.  She walked, her hand held tightly in Zoe’s, straight through the surgery, past Zoe’s consulting room to the end of the corridor. It was Zoe who knocked on the door, who pushed it open when they were told to enter, and it was Zoe’s hand in the small of her back, providing a small amount of comfort to her as she stepped into the room.

Dr Strider checked Frankie was okay with Zoe staying, even though the grip she had on Zoe’s hand had already told him what he needed to know. He started by asking Frankie about her physical health, about how her body had recovered physically after her miscarriage, before moving on to asking her a set of standard questions about her mental health, Zoe’s heart breaking when Frankie answered the question, ‘have you had any thoughts of self harm or suicide’ with a simpe nod, only speaking when Dr Strider prompted her, admitting how much it hurt, how she just wanted it all to stop.  

Zoe didn’t realise she was holding her breath, only remembered to breathe again when she saw Frankie shake her head, telling them both she had no plans to end her own life, that she’d turned to alcohol to numb the pain, and tears ran freely down Zoe’s cheeks when Frankie whispered “Zoe” after Doctor Strider asked if there was a reason she hadn’t acted on her thoughts.  The nurse clung to Zoe’s hand as she explained how Zoe had been her rock, that she’d seen the effect her husband leaving had had on the other woman, that she didn’t want to be the one to do that to her again.

Just as Zoe predicted Frankie left the appointment with a prescription for antidepressants and a leaflet with instructions on how to refer herself for counselling, even though it was a process that both women already knew.

“Come on” Zoe said softly when they’d finished, “let’s get you home so you can try and sleep” she said as she helped Frankie to her feet, thanking Dr Strider for making the time to see them before walking towards the door.

“Zoe” He called her back, watching as Zoe passed Frankie her keys and gently told her to go and wait in the car. “How are you coping with all this?” 

She sighed, “I… I’m still taking my meds, talking things through with my therapist every week. I'm coping” she said honestly. 

“I'm glad to hear it” he nodded, “if there's anything I can do, for you or Frankie…” 

She nodded, “thank you. I erm, I'd better go and take her home.” 

“Take the rest of the week off” Doctor Strider's order surprised Zoe, “don't worry about your patients, we'll sort something.” He paused for a moment as if he was thinking over his next statement, “would I be correct in saying Frankie isn't the only one that hasn't been sleeping well over the past few weeks?” Zoe’s bowed head answered for her, “do you need me to prescribe you…” 

“No, no, I erm, I think I'll be okay now.” 

“Okay, well, like I said, of either of you need anything…”

“I'll bear that in mind” Zoe told him, thanking him again as she left the room. 

Frankie was almost asleep in the passenger seat when Zoe walked out of the building, feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders now she'd told someone how she was feeling. 

 "Zo?" she mumbled, slowly forcing her eyes open when she heard the car door open. 

"Get some rest" Zoe slipped into the driver's seat and brushed Frankie's hair from her face, "I'll stop off and get your prescription on the way home."

Frankie nodded, eyes slowly closing again, trusting Zoe completely, "thank you." 

Zoe kissed Frankie's temple before turning her key in the ignition, "there's nothing to thank me for.

As promised, Zoe left Frankie sleeping in the car as she collected her prescription from a 24 hour pharmacy and didn't wake her until she pulled onto her drive. 

Frankie didn't think anything of Zoe following her into the house, and when Zoe followed her into the bedroom she simply assumed that the blonde wanted to make sure she was settled before she left for work. 

Zoe excused herself to use the ensuite as Frankie climbed wearily into bed, her body suddenly making her aware of the fact she was absolutely exhausted and she needed to sleep. 

"What…" Frankie frowned, looking up when she heard the door to the ensuite open and Zoe walked over to the bed in the pyjamas she'd taken off less than an hour ago. 

"You aren't the only one that hasn't been sleeping" she admitted as she joined Frankie under the duvet, "John, he erm, he told me to take the rest of the week off." 

"I'm sorry" Frankie whispered as she rolled over to face Zoe. 

"You've got nothing to apologise for” Zoe reached out and gently stroked Frankie’s cheek.

“I have” Frankie mumbled, not making eye contact as she fiddled with the edge of the duvet. "If I'd have taken the pregnancy test at home, if I'd have told Ian over the phone, none of this would have happened, or at least you wouldn't have been dragged into this horrible mess" her voice broke as she struggled to bite back tears. 

"Oh Darling" Zoe shuffled closer, wrapping Frankie in her arms, "I would never have made you go through this on your own, I'm glad I could be there for you, that you knew you had me when you needed someone." 

"I thought about calling him" Frankie mumbled into Zoe's shoulder, "calling Ian, I thought about trying to get pregnant again."

Zoe felt like someone had stabbed her in the chest, "di…" her voice caught in her throat and she swallowed hard, "did you?" 

"No" Zoe felt the shake of Frankie's head against her shoulder, "I thought… I,  I couldn't do it to you, I couldn't hurt you like that." 

Zoe let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, "I erm, I'm glad to hear that." 

"I'm sorry" Frankie sniffled and wiped at her eyes, "I…" 

"You're grieving Frankie" Zoe said softly, "you don't need to apologise." 

Frankie yawned as she nuzzled into Zoe, "I love you" she whispered quietly. 

"I love you too" Zoe smiled, kissing Frankie's hair, "get some rest, you'll feel better for it."

"Will you stay?" Frankie sounded nervous. 

"Of course" Zoe felt Frankie shuffle slightly in her embrace as she made herself comfortable, "I'm not going anywhere." 


End file.
